Drifting.

' What has happened, happened. 

'I love you' doesn't have much meaning anymore. '

A programme that I wanted to attend, sent me an email.

After reading it, I really kind of wake up my mind.

I didn't think of it before ' Am I really happy with my life? '

Am I really happy with my career, studies, relationships, health and my finances.

And i came to realize that if I'm not happy with my life at all, I'm the one to be blamed

and not anyone else.

It's all because of MY actions and inactions that have led me here today.

My elder brother is a lecturer in this programme. Due to his heavy workloads, working hours, we rarely could have a time for a proper chat but when we're both free, he would seize the chance and teach me something new that he had learnt through his work.

I really have to say that I feel really blessed that my elder brother is always here for me, giving me advices and guiding me along the way as he sees the decisions I've made and through these decisions, what consequences have I faced. Then he will slowly break down everything to me and tell me what actually went wrong so I can improve on that particular area more. 

I still can remember once I've asked him, ' Why don't you get yourself a new car, you know like those sports car, unlike your car which is so old-fashioned in appearance  ' And he smiled and said, ' What is the purpose of having a car? It's just for easier transportation, as long as it is still able to move, why bother changing to a new car just because of the sake of ' nice appearance ' ? ' How could i not look up to him. Without him and his guidance , I would not be able to realize the mistakes that I've made all along and change myself for the better. Really love him loads.